swoon's Xanga

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

Wed, 10 Jul 2002 14:18:01 GMT

My Muse

My muse calls to me

In my dreams

Dreams of love

And abandonment

Of other lifetimes

And new adventures

Like a siren

Calling me from the cliffs

I want to answer

But fear prevents me

Fear of wanting

Fear of needing

A new me

A new us

Fear of the unknown

Fears of loss of identity

Of losing myself in desire

And longing.

Sunday, July 07, 2002

Sun, 07 Jul 2002 14:53:15 GMT

Don Quixote, Where for art thou?

Your Dulcinea awaits you

Where is my justice?

Where is my brave but foolish knight?

I will love you in spite of your foibles

Which to me are precious

I see you in my dreams

Rescuing me on your trusty steed

Save me Quixote

Save me from this life

For all I have is hope

That you will be around the next corner

Let me share in your noble quests

I can be your Pancho Sancha too

Thursday, June 27, 2002

Thu, 27 Jun 2002 13:55:32 GMT

Sweet Agony/Cruel Ecstasy

Sweet agony and

Oh so cruel ecstasy

The sweet agony lays

In the anticipation

The ecstasy of glimpsing

Adonis from afar

Being cruel in its

Promise unrequited

The unfinished sentence

The unsaid thought

The door left ajar

Winking back at me!

The song yet composed

Pining for its melody

The voyage yet traveled

It’s homecoming not yet conceived of

The flame yet extinguished

Soft red burning embers

Faint but glowing

In the distance.

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

Wed, 26 Jun 2002 14:09:34 GMT

Emissions In Megahertz

Deep dark chocolaty pools

I dive in almost unconsciously

Silkenly velvety warm envelopes me

Weightless falling into the soft deep vibrato

catching me in a net of mellifluous sound

Causing shockwaves and shivers

Like the echoes of sound waves on a tuning fork

Penetrating to the core of sound

Leaving me to languish in

the folds of the bi-sected chin

to the deep supersternal notch

From the valley of the solar plexus

To the crown of silken curls

Lavishing in endless time

The recesses and excesses

the mountains and streams

flowing back to the eternal sea

Friday, March 22, 2002

Fri, 22 Mar 2002 15:12:54 GMT

the artist baring his soul

the artist
takes quite a risk
he lays forth his art
and bares his soul

an artist must brave
the uncertain tides of
public approval
like a cast away
on a raft
in the ocean
parched
staring into the sun

but like robinson crusoe
i ride my own tides
for the public is too fickle

you keep putting yourself out there
regardless of reception
forging bubbling up from underground
to find a shiny diamond
emerge
more resilent
stronger
for braving the storms

Thursday, March 21, 2002

Thu, 21 Mar 2002 14:19:08 GMT

Solar Eclipse

Sunny day
Funny way
I had to pick myself up
Climb up out of this trench

It's somehow worse when it's sunny outside
and so black inside
Why can't any of the sun come in?

Black means
no friends are allowed
can't be bourne
nothing can penetrate
the eclipse

it's so painful
like a plant without sun
can't grow

the world will turn
another twenty four hours
where will i be?

at the bottom of the barrel
or sunny side up?

if you have no downs
can there be ups?

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

Wed, 20 Mar 2002 15:58:46 GMT
Lost Empires

So exciting and so maudlin-the adventures of youth..
1914
british vaudeville
magic acts
pantomimes
debauchery
innocence
loss of innocence
a young man
ripe
for the picking
a tigress
pounces
he gladly succumbs
human nature
in all its glory

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

Wed, 20 Mar 2002 15:31:51 GMT

Where Are You?

My friend
where are You?

met on common ground
now you are nowhere to be found

it's lonely
no one to share your secrets with.

Find me
on a string of the net
or web

Dust off the cobwebs
I am there
waiting

for a sunrise
to share
with you

Sunday, February 24, 2002

Sun, 24 Feb 2002 15:48:07 GMT

I'm Not Me or
The Hormone Dance

I hear a knock
It's for me
My hormones have come to take me for a ride

It's not optional
I must go
As other before me
Time for the show!

I watch myself
In disbelief
That's not me.
Oh, good grief!

Who is that yelling
and cursing and
obsessing?
It cannot be me!

But I watch
helpless
to control it

It is an ancient dance
Generations old
Like the gyrations of birth and death
You must play your hand
You cannot fold

I scream
Let me out
That's not me!

But it is me.
The nasty me.
The estrogen-less me.

Me for two weeks a month
Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde

It's a little scary
When I get hairy
I'd like to run
Not stay for the fun

But I am held hostage
By forces beyond my control
When will I be me again?
When will I be whole?

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

Wed, 13 Feb 2002 14:50:14 GMT

Ladies, I was taking my morning constitution this morning-after re-reading an excerpt from The Bar Sinister of Lizzie and Darcy's new married life and extended honeymoon. I started to imagine that I was Lizzie on one of her walks of the grounds of Pemberly.
I passed by a lake and suddenly I saw a striking Darcy standing on the bank of the lake dismounting his horse. I drank in this vision blinking my eyes in disbelief. He waved and smiled a beatific smile motioning me over.
I looked down and saw that I was now Lizzie! I could hardly contain myself as I rushed over to greet him.
"I was hoping that you would find me here, my dearest Lizzie."
"Darcy, a moment's parting from you is too long. You are but my weakness."
She came closer to him and he gently embraced her. It was then that they lost their balance and tumbled into the lake together.
He fell upon her kissing her lightly and playfully at first and then deeper and more ardently. She returned his kisses passionately and they were lost but to one another.
They settled on the bank and they did not know where the one began and the other ended.
"Shall I ever have enough of you, Lizzie? I think not for my passion grows for you in each subsequent encounter."
"It is the same for me, Darcy, and I never knew that I could feel this way. We are but two bodies with one soul. You complete me."
"And you complete me, my sweet Lizzie!"
And such as it was, it ended in a glint of the sun.
Happy Valentine's Day from all the Lizzies to their Darcy's